Farewell, My Faithful, Fickle-Fused Friend

So, if you've been reading my blog for a while, you may know that I'm somewhat attached to my car. And why wouldn't I be? Everyone knows that the perfect car is a car in which the brake lights never, ever turn off so you have to pull out a fuse every time you park, or else when you get back with your groceries or your library books, your battery will be dead. And then you have to stick the fuse back in and drive home with your brake lights on the entire time even when moving at full speed. EVERYONE KNOWS THIS IS THE SIGN OF A PERFECT CAR.

However... *sniff*....

However.... (*SNIFF*).... I am moving from Florida to Massachusetts, and I don't need a car in Massachusetts, plus I don't think my car would make it all the way to Massachusetts but don't tell my car I said that.

Today, I'm donating my car to NPR. NPR will cannibalize my car for parts, because that's what people do when someone donates something that doesn't work unless you know the complicated rules about which fuses need to be disattached when.

My car, my chariot, my honorable steed, has come to the end of its 175,825 mile journey.

And so today, to honor an old and faithful friend, I leave you with every single bumper sticker my car wore proudly.


Jen said…
I'm sorry about the loss of your car. Must be hard. I love the bumper stickers:D
Sarah Wynde said…
Oh, I used to have the bumper sticker "God bless the whole world, no exceptions" on my car! I really liked that one. But it was hit while parked on a street and totaled, and so I had to say good-bye to it several years ago.

My current car has only two, "Dyslexics have more fnu" and the Obama "Hope" with his picture.
*sob* why do cars have to die? thankfully my rents' old white toyota landcruiser is still up n kickin, but why?

old cars rock my sox. i want (unlikly ill get) to have a old bmw bug (the ones that look like herbie) when i start driving.

i in my whole life have only owned 2 bumper stickers. 1 says "geniuses can walk into walls too" and the other is of the backstreet boys (I WAS 5 OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHEESH!!!!!!!!!!!!). but i should get more.
Anonymous said…
Aww sorry about your car. I have one of my own, but I am going to try and take him from Boston down to Florida next month on a road trip..... hopefully he'll make it! Wish me luck. :) Good luck to you with the impending move!
Sarah Miller said…
You rock.

Did your car have a name? I drove Matilda the Town Car over the 100,000 mile mark, and now I'm working toward the same milestone with Gertrude the Buick.
Artemis Grey said…
Loosing a good old car is like loosing a friend. We've had several over the years, most all of them second-handers. To date, the two I cherished the most were:

Super Nova, an '83 gold Nova who was lost tragically when a *ahem* (attempting civility) lazy, overweight (because she was lazy) incosiderate, self-centered girl drove up a MARKED exit only driveway because she was too lazy (I told you) to drive around to the entrance driveway, and hit me head on. She totalled Super Nova and didn't have a license, OR insurance, and because it was a private drive, the cops could do nothing. That was the hardest vehicle loss. Super Nova had almost 300k miles on him and was going strong. High drama, but I LOVED him.

The Mustard Seed, a mustard yellow '84 blazer who carried me all over the planet and took me on a few wild adventures.
Tsakaki said…
It really sucks about your car, I lost mine about nine months ago to a bad accident, I still miss it sometimes, but I had only had mine for a few months and it new, not lovingly used.

Good Luck on the move! I'm sure they'll put your baby to good use.
Unknown said…
Oh, I've loved several old cars and learned to love new ones. Totally know how you feel. Awesome organization to donate your car to.

My current car, a Mazda that I'm totally in love with, has only two bumper/window stickers: Homestar Runner and Obama O8. I'm taking neither off, ever. Of course, I might add a Graceling or Fire one if it was available! :-D
Anonymous said…
I somewhat know how you feel. Charlie is my dark grey 2005 Jetta who, despite being relatively new, always has the warning light on for some reason. I LOVE Charlie. She's my favoritest car. However, she is not mine. She belongs to my mother, but since my mom and dad work at the same place, they just pool together and Charlie and I get to be with each other all day long. I'm beginning to dread living on my own, cause I'll have to give Charlie back. *sniff* CHARLIE! YOU AND ME FOREVER!!!

marcelo said…
Such is life.
Anonymous said…
While your bumper stickers and car would be welcomed with open arms in Massachusetts, who wants to put up with parking, driving through New England's winter worst and Rt. 128 which is the vehicular equivalent of Russian Roulette? Luckily, the Boston area does offer alternative transport. Good luck with your move; Massachusetts can't wait!
ICQB said…
Great bumber stickers!
KT said…
Old cars are the best cars in the world. My car is as old as my little brother, but it still purs like a kitten (on a good day). The automatic locks rarely work, both the tape deck and CD player won't accept any incoming recordable device, and the window buttons are backwards, but it's the greatest car in the world! I call her MLE.

RIP to your car. It will be missed. *sniff*
tinkandalissa said…
Kristin's car
Kristin Cashore said…
Artemis! Fat does not equal lazy, nor does it belong in a list of a person's flaws! Right? Right!

Just sayin'.

Thanks for the car love, everyone!
Artemis Grey said…
You're completely right Kristin, fat does not equal lazy. On the contrary, this person's laziness, just happened to result in fat. I should have used a term more along the lines of 'slovenly gluttonous'

Any-which, the girl was a perfect representation of bad insides showing up on the outside. Literally, since her laziness is what prompted her to drive up the wrong driveway KNOWING that it was wrong.

I meant no offense to anyone sensitive to weight. Botticelli is BEAUTIFUL. And I mean that. :)
Kristin Cashore said…
Except that we don't know why she was fat -- there are many factors that could make a person fat, and there are many, many lazy people who are thin as rails.

I'm going to link to some great posts at The Rotund and Shapely Prose just in case anyone is interested in reading more about why I'm not letting this go. The title of the Shapely Prose article is ironic, btw, in case you get to it and are like, huh?

Artemis, I love and respect your presence on my blog, and hope me getting on a soap box for a moment won't chase you away! (and I am sorry to hear about your car!)
Artemis Grey said…
Soap-boxing won't scare me off. I hop around with one foot in my mouth perpetually. It comes from being derived of Appalachian folk who say what they're thinking without thinking about what they're saying. :)

I'd rather someone point out when I've said something unkind, or uninformed, than have them think immediately that I meant it in hurtful or high-minded way. I worked with the girl for long enough to know her well (which was all the worse when she did what she did) and I oughtn't have blurted the way I did. I still pity-party over the injustice I think.
conlombardo said…
We have a "goddess on the go" bumper sticker on the car which has turned out to be mostly used by my husband. So some of his friends are calling him goddess on the go. I love it.
Artemis Grey said…
I'm a dolt. I've been gnawing on the bones of this thing and I see, I really SEE what you tried to point out in your first response Kristin, which I totally, obliviously missed, as evidenced by my own response.

Weight, large or small was utterly irrelevant to the girl's behavior, one way or another. I didn't help the matter when I tried to correlate her outside with her inside. *sigh* You have a Saint's patience to calmly restate your point. Thank you!

It was an insensitive, flippant remark, and I deserved a smacked bottom for it. Even if it took you a couple of whacks for me to notice... :)
Kristin Cashore said…
Artemis, I have something for you, and it is this: ♥
Artemis Grey said…
Thank you, Kristin. Thank you.
Luna said…
This is kind of supposed to be a comment in your last post... but...


Also, have you read "Words, Words, Words" by David Ives? IT IS SOOOOO AWSOME!!

I preformed it a year ago and it was sooo hilarious. Love your book!
Elena said…
I just sold my car and moved to MA as well so I feel your pain! In all honesty I've only missed it a few times, but I've only been here a few weeks. I have a feeling one of these days I'm going to really miss driving with the windows down, radio blaring and singing at the top of my lungs. Best of luck to you!

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