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Showing posts with the label relationships

"Why must it be a truthiness universally acknowledged that a single woman in possession of an existence must be in want of a mate?"

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A friend wrote that delightful, Pride-&-Prejudice-referential question to me in a recent e-mail. She was frustrated with the assumption in our society that single people are incomplete. Are in search of another person. Are waiting. Have failed in some way. Have been unlucky. Have all kinds of happiness in their future, as long as they're patient and never give up hope.

Today, I would just like to point out quietly -- because hardly anyone ever does, and maybe it would be useful for more people to talk about it -- that while there are indeed many single people who are in search of a mate, there are also many single people who aren't in search of anything. Who've chosen to be single. Who have, in fact, found the secret to their own happiness. Maybe they have other dreams that take precedence, other priorities and passions. Maybe they love to be alone, cherish other kinds of relationships, relish in the freedom of being single. People are different. Announcement: People…
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"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so"

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(Says Hamlet, who thinks himself straight down the path to disaster, but anyway. I've been thinking about thinking, and the ways that thinking can be good. ^_^)

FAQ: How would you respond to an interpretation of Graceling that reads Katsa and Po's relationship as abusive?

(Okay, this isn't actually a frequently asked question, but I was asked it once.)

I think that every reaction to a book is genuine, and every interpretation that can be supported by the text is valid. People read the same book and come to different conclusions; no one has a claim to some sort of absolute truth about a book. What I hope is that if someone who doesn't interpret the relationship as abusive encounters someone who does, the person who doesn't will listen to the person who does, rather than dismissing their interpretation without thought, or trying to shut them down. In my wanderings through all parts of the Internet, I see way too many people shutting down other people's concerns, ra…
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February 14: Interplanetary Be Who You Are Day

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So, there are a lot of things I don't like about Valentine's Day. For example, where our roses and diamonds come from. But less urgent, and closer to home, here's something else I don't like about Valentine's Day: it tries to divide people up into two neat categories. (1) People who are madly in love and happy. (2) People who are single, sad, and pathetic.
C'mon! That's so reductive! There are a bajillion kinds of people; there are a bajillion ways to live; there isn't one good, happy way to be and one bad, sad way to be -- COME ON!
This is why I'm renaming February 14th Interplanetary Be Who You Are Day. Here are some identities in which there is NO SHAME on that day (or on any other day!): A person who is thinking about getting a divorce but isn't sure.
A person who has decided to have a cat and begonias instead of a husband and kids even though it will disappoint her mother.
A person who has decided to move to Massachusetts and marry his bo…
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