Thursday, March 12, 2009

Moses Supposes His Toeses Are Roses (But Moses Supposes Erroneously)

So, my sister (secret code name: Cordelia) and I have a lot of deep and meaningful discussions. Often, we find ourselves on the same side of the argument. For example, we've decided that given the choice of living with a whiner, a wino, or a rhino, we would both choose the rhino. And, the other night, while driving out of the parking lot of the dinner theater, we debated whether it would be worse for us to accidentally run over a patron or a matron. We agreed that while both would be dreadful, the matron would somehow be more dreadful.

Of course, we don't always agree. I asked Cordelia once which she would rather have, a car that doesn't stop or a car that doesn't go. She chose the car that doesn't stop, on the grounds that at least that car has one more good go left in it.

*. . . .*

More recently, we disagreed on who's better, the ballet dancer Mikhail Baryshnikov or the Irish step dancer Michael Flatley. I chose Baryshnikov (even though I adore Irish step dancing), and she chose Flatley (even though she adores people in ruffled tights leaping about). I think if she'd just take another look at Michael Flatley's strange headgear, and maybe watch some Sex in the City, she'd come over to my side. She insists she wouldn't. What can I do?

Finally, lest anyone imagine that the only sister o' mine with whom I ever come into conflict is Cordelia, just listen to this. Yesterday, finding myself increasingly suspicious of the results of my "What Must Be?" poll (eight fabulous options, and almost 30% of voters are choosing flying squirrels??!), I extracted a confession from my sister, secret code name: Apocalyptica, who happens to be the proud owner of a flying squirrel. Apocalyptica linked to my poll on the National Flying Squirrel Association's message boards! ON PURPOSE, TO SKEW MY RESULTS! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!! NOW I NEED ALL OF YOU TO GO LINK TO MY POLL ON THE MESSAGE BOARDS OF THE INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATIONS OF AGONY, STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE, WRINKLES IN TIME, PASTRAMI SANDWICHES, BRASS QUINTETS, AND DEATH, TO UN-SKEW ME!

I can't believe it. THAT FLIMFLAMMER!

Do you have siblings? Are they like mine? ;o)

And do you like to watch dance? What kinds?

Also -- if you recognize the song lyrics in my title, then you know what show Cordelia and I saw at the dinner theater. (^_^) (Btw, click on the little HQ in the right-hand corner to watch it in high quality!)


24 comments:

A. Grey said...

Well this provokes an immediate response because not only do I have a sister, I have and INDENTICAL TWIN sister, and she's the only sibling I have at all. In case you can't imagine what sort of relationship might evolve under that circumstance I would refer you to re-runs of the 'Golden Girls' 'The Waltons' and 'Third Rock From the Sun'. Yes 'Third Rock From the Sun'. My sister and I, being twins, operated somewhat like visiting alien lifeforms for many of our formative years, primarily because as far as we knew, we lived in our own world and just visited this one, where all the strange people who didn't have a clone of themselves existed alone. Up until we were seven or eight, we didn't understand what a mirror was. If I wanted to see what I looked like I just ordered my sister, code name Fenris, to go stand across from me and hold still.

As far as getting along, we do, except for when we don't. :) We debate and disagree on the strangest things, but not in a bad way. Things we do fight over: Would you rather be a zombie or a vampire? Who is the coolest Dragonlance character? Who would you choose, bad guy or good guy? (It doesn't matter what movie, I'm almost a constant bad guy rooter) And books. We argue books constantly, although I'm a bit thwarted in come ways because Fenris does not write, and she can't even wrap her brain around the processes involved, so when I try to go at character developement, or pacing, or anything of that nature, she gives up on the conversation.

Of course, Fenris is married, and has been with her husband for some inconceivable amount of time, like twelve years. Don't get me wrong, I love her husband (or he would have disappeared under very mysterious circumtstances a long ago) but I have trouble talking to the check-out guy without getting irritated, much less marrying a guy. Everyone tells me this aversion will vaporize when I meet 'The One'. But then they thought I'd be the one getting married too.

Twins or not, sisters rock the house. Brothers? I'm sure they're wonderful too, but I think I would have devoured mine if I'd ever gotten one....

Q said...

Sisters are so fun, especially when you only need to say, "I need--" and she hands it to you. Who needs a mind reader then, honestly?

Laura Lutz said...

Oh, for heaven's sake, as if I didn't already love you enough...you had to go and post my Favorite Dance Number of All Time!

And for the record, I found a ton of strawberry-related associations through Google. The strawberry shortcake voters will PREVAIL!

tinkandalissa said...

But what if the matron was a patron? Doubley bad, I suspect.
Being a Sex in the City watcher, I would have to go w/Mikhail too! But I adore Michael Flatley as well. When I was little, I took ballet for a while. Loved it. But really, I just love all sorts of dancing. (I will admit to watching "So You Think You Can Dance"). I should add that I love dancing that other people do. I don't dance. At all. It's probably for the best. I wouldn't want to injure anyone. That's not true. Sometimes I do. And wouldn't that be a fun way to do it? Anyway, before I get carried away...
I had an unusual childhood. My Nana raised my older brother (by 2 1/2 years) and I. At the same time, she was raising my uncle (9 yrs older than me), all by herself. So, I basically consider my uncle an older brother too! What is it like growing up w/2 older boys? Oh ho ho. Lemme tell ya. It's difficult to be constantly picked on for entertainment purposes. Of course they love me. I know this. But they could be cruel. We look back on it now that we are grown and laugh our asses off. I was soooo trusting and gullible. They would say, "Hey, Alissa, do you want to play?", and I'd be all like, "Yay!". Here are the few things that come to mind:
Being locked in the toybox during hide and seek. Being tricked into seeing if I could, in fact, fit under the hide-a-bed couch when it was closed all the way (it took Nana an awful long time to figure out where the calls for help were coming from). Being locked out of the bathroom after playing in the woods and suddenly realizing I had to pee. Really bad. I won't tell how that ended. Accidentally stepping on a Transformer that turned into a jet of some sort and then having one of those cars - that you pull along the ground real fast to wind the wheels up so you can let it go and shoot across the floor - let go in my hair. That ended badly as well. Despite all those good times, it seemed that we could only agree to disagree no matter the topic. I wouldn't trade 'em for the world, though! They would have protected me if I'd ever needed it.

Bittersweet said...

I was only "blessed" with a brother (code name..Knup..because I'm not creative). I always wanted a sister and to this day still ask my parents are they positive I don't have a sister..or even a half sister..out there somewhere. My mom says she's positive..my dad says he's pretty sure :(

Knup and I are no where nearly as close as some sisters are. We do laugh, A LOT, when together but mostly from jokes made towards me. I do love our inside jokes though. And no one else on this planet knows our parents like he and I do, so I love him for that immediate understanding he has.

dance fan. said...

Baryshnikov all the way. However, Gene Kelly would definitely give him a run for his money.

dac said...

Apocalyptica the Flimflammer. I like it. Attila the Hun's got nothin'.

Jazz said...

I'm an only child! I do have close friends I consider my sisters, and a man I consider my brother, but I don't think we have the closeness of true siblings these days. Although, I would do anything for them.

I like watching ballet even though I don't watch it often. I like to dance more than I like watching dance. I don't dance ballet, though. I dance with glowsticks.

NoGrandmother said...

I have a brother and a sister, but my brother is going through some weird Phase where he doesn't appreciate us, so we're sitting back until he comes to his senses.

But my SISTER: there were never such devoted sisters. When a certain gentleman arrived from Rome, she wore the dress and I stayed home.

We argue *constantly*: which is us is Marianne, and which of us is Elinor?

I mostly love her to distraction, except today: yesterday a package arrived in the mail from her.

Peep-flavored lip gloss.

Today I hate her.

I will have my revenge.

Melissa said...

Two brothers and a sister, whom everyone claims I sound exactly like. Since I'm the oldest, though, they don't attempt anything nefarious...

If I had to choose between Michael Flatley and Baryshnikov, the latter would win out, if only in remembrance of an undying crush I had on him when I was 12. Yeah, he was about 36 at the time, but I didn't mind....(Besides, I think Colin Dunne is a better dancer than Michael Flatley, hands down.)

But the real who is better dance question (in homage to your post title) is: Gene Kelly or Fred Astaire? That is a tough decision

Erin said...

I heart Singing in the Rain! :)

Misrule said...

I've always had such a crush on Gene Kelly. He always looks to me as if he really knew his way around his dance partner... (if you get my meaning...) not like dear old Fred, who was wonderful, of course, but a little too polite.

Angie said...

I have a sister whom I adore. I would literally do anything for her. No code name needed - she's Lisa - and she's wonderful.

I'm loud, bordering on the obnoxious, quick to think, react, and 'do something!'. She is thoughtful, quiet, always considering, and knows exactly the right thing to say at the right time.

I don't think two people have laughed or cried as much as we have together. I completely understand Q's comment.

I fell and broke my leg in her garage a few years back. She tried to lift me - all 100 lbs of her. She squeezed me so hard trying to help that I tooted. We both started laughing and she peed her pants. We just sat there, in her garage, and enjoyed our laughter and being together.

We don't always agree, but I will say this: If given a choice, we would hands down pick Mikhail (we LOVE Sex and the City) and Gene. I don't even need to call her and ask.

Anonymous said...

Though I'm sure someone else has already said it, I am going to pretend that I was the first to yell SINGIN IN THE RAIN!! IT'S SINGIN IN THE RAIN!!! Okay, now that I have that out, I must explain that Singin in the Rain is perhaps my all-time favorite movie. Others come close, but this one still always wins. I need to go back and see what the rest of your post was about...

--Candelion

Anonymous said...

I must say that I am lucky enough to have a sister and a brother. One of each ;) I am the oldest, an d my siblings and I are all three years apart. I am currently in college and not living at home, but from the beginning, I have always been so thankful that they have one another now that I am not there on a regular basis. I definitely think our family worked out really well, despite the fact that I vowed to my mother that I would only have one child when it was my turn. Now, I may just have three kiddos to spite my younger self.
As for the amazingness that are my siblings--- my sister, Lex, is my best friend, and I adore my brother to pieces (my sister and I call him LOO Bird).. He will surely be a heartbreaker and is one fabulous skateboarder if I do say so. We all have this indescribable bond. My sister never ceases to cheer me up, and I think she is the only person who has any true conception of who I really am. My brother has been one of the most mature and compassionate boys I have ever known, which is a serious understatement... Other people seem to say that he "just knows." I don't know if that makes sense, but I don't know how to describe it any other way.

It's funny, we certainly disagree about many things, but I cannot think of one right now.. Go figure. Though we do disagree, we seem to do the opposite quite a bit more. Books (cough-- Graceling) are a great example. My sister and I swap books like other girls share clothing... It's a little ridiculous 8-)

Okay, funny story to end this incredibly long comment. One time, my sister was following me around, mimicing me in every way possible. I decided to go to the living room, and as I bent down, turned around and opened my mouth, she opened her mouth to repeat what I was about to say and I farted in her mouth!! That is definitely a memory that has me absolutely giggling inside right now, and I will never forget it. I can't wait to tell her future husband, and hopefully, we will have more similar adventures =)

--Candelion
(if you remember, this is codename for a girl with a sister who calls her "canda" and thinks she was a chameleon in another life)

Jenni Blaser said...

"Singing in the Rain" - It's one of my older sister's favorite lines in the movie. Also, thanks for getting the song stuck in my head. ;)

I have 5 sisters, but all my sisters are between 9 and 23 years older than me (I was an oops child). So, my nieces are more like my siblings. But, because we didn't really like with each other, I never really had the same sibling opportunities that you did. I imagine that we'd be like that, though, if we had lived together.

Shelf Elf said...

Kristin - your post made me think of this old clunker car I used to have. As it got close to the end of its life, it would never start. At the time I was working as a pastry chef so I had to go to work at an ungodly hour. I would be out there on the street at 4 am and the car wouldn't start. Then, one day after work, the brakes failed on the way home. Everyone started joking that I was the only person lucky enough to have a car that wouldn't start or stop.

:) Happy weekend to you!

Shelf Elf

kristin cashore said...

As usual, you're all cheering me up AND cracking me up with your comments.

Some random comments -- Shelf Elf, that's hysterical about your car (only because it didn't kill you, of course)! Owlet -- peeps -- *shudder*. (Although I can't think of peeps anymore without thinking of vampires, thanks to Scott Westerfeld, so for a moment, I was very confused.) Melissa, thanks for educating me on Colin Dunne! I saw his dance battle performed at a Riverdance show a few weeks ago (which is where the argument with Cordelia took place), but didn't know it was his then! (Of course, he wasn't dancing it, but still.) Misrule, heh heh... ;) Angie, that's a really funny and really painful story!

Oh, and Apocalyptica: I would tell you that I think Apocalyptica the Flimflammer is the best nefarious name ever and you're destined to go down in history as an evil genius, except that I DON'T RESPOND TO THE COMMENTS OF FLIMFLAMMERS.

Kasie West said...

Kristin, just wanted to stop by and say hi. I'm in the middle of your book "Graceling" and loving it. I'm an aspiring writer and I thought, you know, if someone was loving my book this much I'd love it if they would seek me out and tell me. So this is me seeking you out to tell you. :)

And, yes, I have siblings, and yes, do we love to debate. They always say if we can walk away from an extended family gathering without offending anyone or making anyone cry it has been a success. And I, being the general stirrer of trouble, always consider it a failure if someone is not in tears at least once. I mean where is the fun in a dry get together?

Anyway, back to reading for me. Gotta see how it ends.

· Alba · said...

Hi, Kristin, again Alba from Spain ;)

Ahahah, I’ve done a rhyme xDD
Thanks so much for answering me before, it was great ^//^
After reading this post... And after laughing a lot-lot-lot... Yeah, sisters: you fight with them, you yell at them... But also you play, laugh and say nonsense without feeling you’re insane ^O^!
Ahm, thanks for the video, the music is so funny ^^.
Kisses and see you on the next post! This weekend I’ll finish Graceling... I’m so nervous... What will happen to everyoneee?!

itdependsontheday said...

i kave a brother.
ke likes roblox.
he also has THE WORST sense of timing.
please don't ask why.
please.

Anonymous said...

I myself do have a sibling, a younger brother. Unfortunately, we're not very close anymore; he seems to have a great dislike for me most days, that periodically break through when, from time to time, I bring/pick him up from somewhere (in my mom's van) and he'll actually hold a small amount of conversation with me.

We weren't always like this though, we used to do a fair amount together when we were younger, particularly in terms of watching movies. Every night (or rather, those when school wasn't the next day) we'd spend a good 30-60 minutes doing "inny-minny-minny-moe" with the tapes (back in the nostalgic days of VHS) and whittling our selection down to just one. Once we discovered Wizard of Oz, no matter what tape was picked, we usually switched it out for that one.

Easter mornings were spent tip-toeing through the house when my parents were still asleep splitting the chocolates. Christmas was spent with our new toys splayed out all over the living room (to be fair, it was a small-ish house, just big enough to be cozy for a family of four). However, we fought constantly there was no end to it. I'm sure we drove (and still occasionally drive) my parents nuts with it. We fought over the computer, over the tv remote, over the video games (all of which belonged to him until I was around 18 and started buying my own.) There was no easy way to deal with us, so my mother usually punished us both. (Most 'punishments' involved telling each of us to knock off whatever we were doing, but occasionally we were sent to our rooms...which...now that I think about it must have been quite interesting when we share a room, but my memories of that time are vague, as we were quite young). I maintain that he started most of it (and if you asked him, he'd say the same about me).

While, despite his bratty moody-ness, I love my brother very much, I always wished for more siblings. An older and younger sister as well as an older brother. (My best friend was the youngest in a family of four). Unfortunately, I never got another one, so there was no one to tie-break between us.

I'd also like to say, as I've just stumbled upon this blog and finished Graceling an hour ago, at most. (no spoilers, don't worry). That I adored it very much, and am very happy that a succession (because I have now decreed that two of anything is equal to a succession) of them are coming out. Yays. ^^

-Tsakaki

Little Willow said...

This post made me very happy - Singin' in the Rain is my favorite movie musical of all time.

Rebecca said...

Yayfor dance! I will watch pretty much anything, though I prefer modern dance (Merce Cunningham is a favorite) or contemporary ballet.